Something Lost
by yaoidarkness15
Summary: Six months after beating Yami Yugi is the biggest emotional wreck he's ever been. He doesn't speak to anyone unless he has to, his friends have given up on him, and his Grandpa makes him go to a psychologist every Tuesday and Thursday. Nothing is changing with the gaping hole in his chest and he refuses to do what so strongly reminds him of Yami... dueling. What will change that?
1. Chapter 1

**(AN: This has been an idea of mine for a while and I finally found the time to do it. I hope all of you like it!)**

* * *

_Six months after the Ceremonial Battle_

* * *

None of you understand. You don't realize how much you love something or someone when they're ripped, torn and forcibly taken from your very soul. You don't understand the raw agony of a severed bond that has literally unknowingly been the source of all that you've succeeded in and the pillar of everything you've accomplished until you experience first hand. When you haven't prepared for such a heavy blow and loss it hurts ten times over. Not even prolonged and infinite amounts of time can heal such a wound, it's a permanent and large black hole punched through your chest. I carry that with me every day and for the rest of my life. I won't and can't forgive myself.

"Yugi...," Grandpa called out to me, "it's time for school."

I didn't say anything like usual, I just moved mechanically out of my room and out of the game shop. The look of utter disappoint and sadness in my Grandpa's eyes used to affect me and make me feel worse than I already do, but it doesn't bother me any longer, it's just a background to The never ending haze I live in. I walked to school by myself, I don't even remember when I started doing this... all the days just seem to blend in big void of sinking melancholy.

The sun shining on my back, face, and hair through the window felt like the biggest insult in the world to me. In my mind thunder storms, lightning, rain, and wild wind was much more appropriate because without the very thing that brings all the love and happiness in this world it's _wrong_.

"Muto Yugi-kun," my teacher's hopeful voice sounded, "what do you think of Feudal Japan's work system?"

I didn't stop looking outside the window for a moment when she asked me this... I didn't even acknowledge her existence much less answer her question. It's all _meaningless_.

As usual my mind began to wander back to the days when I was at the peak of elation... the times when my existence had meaning and everyday I woke up with a purpose...

_"Partner...," just the deep texture and confidence in his voice sent shivers up and down my spine, "just hold on... I can continue this game for you."_

_I gave everything I had against Pegasus in the Dark Game that day. My will was wavering, the stress and pressure of the life or death game caused my breathing to grow ragged and my heart to beat erratically. I refused to be just his useless vessel and help save my Grandpa, but I just couldn't handle it... I've never had such a suffocating feeling pressurize me before._

_The next thing I knew was that he caught me in his arms, whispered that it was okay and that he could take it from here. I couldn't take any more of it... the feeling of being in his arms, the steady and the surprisingly calm heartbeat, and the lovely words of comfort pushed me over the edge into unconsciousness._

I thought moments like those would never end... moments when he seemed like he would never leave and stay apart of me until I would pass on. This just proves what my mother used to tell me all the time: if anything in your life is going remotely well be sure to take cover when it all comes crashing down. I now take that to heart, I totally disregarded it when I was little, naïve and didn't care. No truer words can describe that feeling of when it all came crashing down on my unprepared heart.

* * *

xXx

* * *

Later on after school my "friends" didn't even bother trying to get me to talk or walk with them today. Finally, I'm left in peace from them. I don't see why they should _pretend_ care... the only reason they were my "friends" was because I had _him_ on my side and with me at all times. Without him Anzu, Jonouchi-kun, and Honda-kun would have never even looked my way, the guys would probably still bully me and Anzu wouldn't even talk to me. Either way they're all _meaningless_ now... I don't need them.

"Yugi...," Grandpa scolded, "do I have to drag your ass all the way to the therapist's office again. You don't have a choice remember?"

I didn't even acknowledge him as I kept walking forward to my room, but the old man grabbed me by my elbow stopping me from continuing. My expression didn't change as tried to wrench my arm from his grasp... this happens every Tuesday and Thursday yet I never change my schedule for every day life. I've been waiting for the time when Grandpa realizes he's wasting his money and time since I have not changed since the day he left.

Either way I was slung over Grandpa's shoulder and forcibly taken to his little car. I didn't put up a fight because I just didn't have the heart to protest or beat up my grandfather, I may have sunken pretty low into my depression, but I'm not messed up enough to beat up an old man.

Either way, I was physically dragged into the office where a creepy man with a stringy mustache in a plain suit was sitting behind a wooden desk. The office, as usual, was completely and unethically clean and the man in front of me... Dr. Suzu was trying to look as optimistic as usual; it bothered me severely.

"Hello Yugi-kun," he smiled creepily.

I said nothing. We began a staring showdown as usual since I wouldn't say anything and I was winning... my purple eyes bore into his brown ones daring him to back down and try and communicate with me. Of course, I won and yet he still had the nerve to speak.

"From what your Grandfather has told me, Yugi-kun, it's all your fault," he said attempting to get me to use reverse psychology to get me to speak, "the person who has left you left you because of you... Am I correct?"

I stood up slowly and his thin brow quirked before I picked up the chair and threw it at the man with such alarming calmness that it shocked him so much to the point that it hit him dead on knocking him out of his chair. He collapsed with a loud thud and grunt.

"Go to hell," I said quietly whilst exiting the building and going to my Grandpa to take me home.

"So, Yugi how was your session? Do you feel any different?"

"It went swimmingly."

* * *

xXx

* * *

That night I began to cry quietly. Every night I'm plagued with the burden of knowing that if I had lost that battle I would've never had to lose him. He could be lolling me to sleep now with the knowledge with the feeling of never being alone. The person I trusted the most and the one that knew me better than I know myself would be here and now if it wasn't for me _winning_. That's why I vowed to never play Duel Monsters ever again in my life, it's _meaningless_ without him...

_I laid against every flower known to exist and looked up into the night sky... I wonder if that Ancient Egyptian belief is true that the deceased can look down upon you. I want him here so badly that everything is aching inside me. It's so bad that I've become numb and vulnerable to my surroundings. I would do anything to see him one more time to tell him what took so long to realize to his face. I'll never be able to do that... ever and that's what's slowly killing my soul._

_"Partner..."_

_My heart skipped a beat and I stood slowly and faced the man that was with me now. His more mature form of my body and sexier image made my head swirl. His sultry and intense eyes spoke volumes making me blush a light shade of pink. His body that was clad in leather made me shiver and didn't leave much up to the imagination as it shaped it in all the right ways. His soft grooves of pale skin and identically wild hair made my heart begin to race... A smile began to grow upon my face..._

_"Come here," he said softly._

_I didn't disagree as I came close. His embrace was so alluring and seemingly real I could feel my heart swelling with joy and pride... His hands wove into my hair and a shuddering gasp left my lips when he suddenly disappeared._

"Yami!"

That was the first I spoke or thought of his name in sixth months...


	2. Chapter 2

I was left in a cold sweat from such a realistic dream... It scared and intrigued me, but mostly scared me. Most of all it sent long and fat streams of tears down my cheeks, it just made my heart ache more for... Yami. It's still hard for me to say his name... The entire feeling sent unethical waves of nausea throughout me, so I rushed off to the bathroom down the hall and he rest you can interpret...

"What are you doing up?" Grandpa asked.

"I don't feel good," I groaned truthfully, "I just threw up."

"Alright you're not going to school today. Now go back to bed," he said and I appreciated he didn't do any more for me.

I rinsed out my mouth out thoroughly with the tap water hating this horrible after taste. So, the thought and image of him leaving me again has made me physically ill; that's just wonderful. I began to stumble back to my room and simply flipped on the light switch. I walked over to the small shrine of the person I will love more than anything in this life time. I dropped to my knees before the small photo of him, the only physical evidence that he ever existed in present time. The flowers were always fresh and the candles were always lit.

"I miss you," I whispered saying this about a million, "Why did you have to leave me? I'm not usually selfish, but I want you to come back... and live with me. I know you probably can't hear me and this is incredibly stupid, but I had to say it."

Every morning that I do this I occasionally think I hear his voice. If I'm Schizophrentic I don't care... as I can hear the whispered word... _Partner_. I wish to at least see him one last time... to tell him I love him. I want more than anything for that... and requited love along with him living with me, forever, but those last two desires are just ridiculous and maybe the first one too...

* * *

xXx

* * *

After a restless nap it was about 9:00 in the morning and I decided to quench my hunger and thirst by going into the kitchen and getting orange juice and a rice ball. I ate and drank slowly trying to enjoy the quiet, but nothing here is enjoyable without... Yami.

"Yugi...," Grandpa said, "you've got a visitor."

"Tell them to go away... I'm sick."

"Uh..., he's not taking no for an answer."

"Then who the hell is at the door?" I snapped.

Said person shoved my Grandpa out of the way... it was Kiba-kun. I narrowed my purple gaze at his tall and seemingly far older than the rest of my ex-group even though he's the same age as us. It seems he still likes to dress himself in lots of leather and sinfully tight clothing. It doesn't do anything for me personally, but I'm sure there are some girls who find him sexy and potentially a few boys... if they can get passed his horrible personality.

"What do you want Kaiba-kun?" I said without a drop of emotion in my voice.

"It's been six months Yugi... you as my rival need to start dueling again because I need to beat you."

"That's not my problem," I said dismissing the notion whilst helping my Grandpa back to his feet.

"I'll make it _your_ problem," he said with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

That made me a little wary... I know he doesn't have any qualms against hurting my Grandpa, he's done it in the past. I hope he's not going to attack him again... or think of something worse. I don't have much to lose, so I don't know what he'll choose.

"No you won't because next time you hurt my Grandpa I will call the police," I said with a narrowed purple gaze.

"Yugi... don't," Grandpa started off.

"No Grandpa, it's not okay for him to come in here and make threats," I said fed up with Kaiba-kun and his bullshit.

"Mark my words Yugi," Kaiba-kun smirked exiting with his billowing coat, "I will make you regret making me go to extreme measures."

* * *

xXx

* * *

During the rest of the day, I didn't come out of my house, I'm too busy paying respect to the dead to do much else. I wish I knew rituals to contact the dead... any would do because I don't care about anything else except that I want to hear his voice again.

Eventually I got thirsty and trekked down the hall to the kitchen. That's when I noticed something was seriously _wrong_. It's too quiet and even when my mind is numb and uncaring it doesn't mean I don't have a sense of fear, I'm still a human being.

Then like a crack of a whip and a flash a hand with a cloth over it wound around my mouth muffling my scream. As I unwittingly inhaled through my mouth and I passed out easily...

I felt a hard tap against my cheek and I jolted when my eyes came into focus of Isono-san. I moved back quickly and I was strongly reminded of the time when my Grandpa was kidnapped by Kaiba-kun. Is he really taking this so far that he'd kidnap and not get in trouble for it because he's extremely rich and powerful?

"What the hell have you done?" I said scooting as far as I could.

"I'm sorry Yugi-kun, but Kaiba-sama has had me bring you here," he said, "he wishes for you to duel with him. I found your deck, so you can't prolong not dueling him."

"I'd rather kill myself with a noose hanging from a tree than ever duel again much less Kaiba Seto-kun."

I made horrible squeaking and screaming noises when I was forced to walk and exit the room and no matter how many times I told him to stop he wouldn't. Eventually I was shoved into the big duel system machines that is very similar to the one that showed my the first holographic image I ever saw. I tried to escape, but I felt my ankles chained to the machine and I saw the meaning of using this technology opposed to using a Duel Disk System.

"Yugi," I heard Kaibi-kun's deep voice, "it's time I beat you in a duel."

"No," I said, "I refuse."

Kaiba-kun's eyes narrowed at my response, but the fact is he _can't_ make me duel to the best of my ability. Also, if he tried to put cards in my hands in my hands I'd just drop them to the ground... No incentive on this Earth will make me willing to duel.

"I thought we'd have such complications, so I came prepared," he said and pressed a button on the grid.

I suddenly felt extreme heat applied near me and I yelped when I saw flames bursting dangerously close to me. Is he really going to burn me to a crisp for me to play a stupid card game like this? What is wrong with him and his life long obsession with a children's card game? I got over why doesn't he?

"Now will you play?" He smirked whilst crossing his arms superiorly.

I was about to say no, but something literally took the breath from my lungs and I nearly doubled over. It was Yami's _voice _andthen _saw_ his materialized form in front of me with a deep scowl. Have I gone crazy... is it really him?!

"Fool!" He exclaimed, "do you not value your life? Now, play and win this card game!"

The love of my life then disappeared from my sight and I couldn't hear him in my head. I panicked.

"Come back! Wait!" I screamed at the top of my lungs with tears spilling from my purple eyes.

"What is wrong with you?! Have you gone insane?" Kaiba-kun said startled by my abrupt shout.

I sniffled quietly whilst wiping the tears away, it seems I have gone crazy. I suppose I'll do as he says even if it might be an illusion... I don't care. How will I get to see him again... after this?

"It's time to duel," I said with blazing purple eyes as I shuffled quickly.


End file.
